Has Goblin Mode Gone Too Far?
Early in the pandemic, the term pooh-bearing began to circulate the internet. I found personal amusement in a concept that admittedly, I’d relished in for many years as someone who largely WFH. Now it seemed the craze was cottoning on.
That was until, on several occasions, it went terribly wrong. But we learned how to turn our cameras off on Zoom at appropriate moments, and collectively began to accept this as a new norm.
But a more recent trend has started to emerge. Starting in the deep corners of the internet but quickly gaining popularity, is the notion of going into Goblin Mode. By definition, this essentially means “Feral” or “Sloth”. Far from the prying eyes of society, not-so-graciously letting yourself go. Pouring the remains of a crisp packet into your gob at 1am, wearing the same pyjamas you’ve worn for the past four days, whilst staring at a pile of empty Domino’s boxes in the corner.
At first - I wholeheartedly embraced the concept. Too long have we been constrained by the acceptable laws of society, so fuck it!
Let it all hang out.
Let it all go.
Down with The Man.
Millions seemed to feel the same. Makeup sales hit an all-time low. Leisure-wear exploded. For some it felt empowering. Others felt liberated and free of guilt.
But now I’m afraid I think Goblin Mode needs to go. It’s gone too far. I’m as guilty as the person before me, so before you crucify me, let me explain why.
I write this blog post from an aircraft. Today, not only did I need to appropriately dress myself for public consumption, but I needed to consider what I was going to wear for the next three days whilst travelling. I put the slightly stained, torn tracksuit pants away. Packed some nice shirts. Had a shower and shaved.
And I must tell you, it feels fucking fabulous!
Now I’m not here to advocate presenting myself purely for presentations sake. There’s a growing sentiment among women that it's been very liberating to be free of the compulsion to present themselves pristinely to appease the male gaze, and I don’t condone we wind the clock back there.
But I do think it’s time we draw a line.
We said it at the start of the first lockdown in March 2020, and we will say it again. We need to set boundaries.
We may well be working from home, or potentially even living from work (as a guest of ours recently put it), but we need to create a distinction between the two.
If you’ve found yourself unwillingly settling into Goblin Mode, here are five good practices you can implement:
Get dressed into work clothes when it’s time to work. As tempting or comfortable as your trackies are, save them for the sofa. And don’t work from the sofa. Have a clearly designated work area.
Create rituals. Even if you aren’t commuting, have a commute. Go for a walk once you get up. Or at lunchtime. Or during a meeting if you can. Avoid the temptation of rolling out of bed and straight into your inbox. It’s not sustainable.
Remember 9-5 doesn’t actually mean nine-to-five anymore. As long as your employer supports it, choose a work schedule that suits you. I’m not a morning person. I’m essentially useless before midday. So, I adjust my schedule (within reason) to reflect this. Chances are your manager has finally adapted to the concept of measuring your performance on outcomes, not the hours you are sitting in your chair (or keeping the green dot on Slack active).
Avoid “Snaccidents”. It’s easy to distract yourself throughout the day by relentless trips to look in your refrigerator (don’t worry, I do this too and have absolutely no idea of what I am looking for in there). Set alarms and stick your mealtimes. Always keep a glass of water nearby when working. Sometimes a sip of water can probably stop you from a few bad habits.
Disable work email/Slack/Teams on your phone. The lines are blurry enough as it is, without you trying to avoid the temptation of responding to an email at 9pm because it is “urgent”. It’s self-perpetuating, never-ending cycle that only encourages sloth-like behaviour to appear elsewhere
Something clear to me is that we are in this for the long haul. I’ve recognised my own Goblin Mode for what it is, and whilst notionally I agree with the principles behind it, I realised myself I had gone too far. There’s a time and a place, but like a pitcher plant that slowly consumes the fly, I know I needed to break out of it. Not only for my mental health, but also for those I live with.
And besides, don’t we all need to feel fucking fabulous once in a while?
Has your Goblin Mode gone too far? Admit your sins in the comments below.